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A new lease of life
FEW transplant patients have the privilege of knowing who has saved them. Still fewer have actually met the donor's grieving family.
When a kidney transplant gave eight-year-old Matthew Snazell a new lease of life, his family were so grateful to the mystery donor they agreed to meet her bereaved mum - and have kept in touch with her ever since.
It is a rare and delicate relationship and the Snazell's are understandably protective of it.
"The donor was a 42-year-old woman," said Matthew's mum Christine. "We have met her mum and now we send letters and photos updating her on Matthew's progress. We send a Christmas card every year. It is a very private relationship. Words can't express what her daughter has done for us.
"At first I was surprised that an adult could be the donor for a child but doctors explained that his body will just grow to accommodate it. It's strange to think that Matthew's kidney is the same age as me."
Watching sporty Matthew tear around his Hampshire home like a livewire it is hard to believe the energetic eight-year-old once spent much of his time confined to one room, unable to stray far from the machine that kept him alive.
A genetic condition meant his kidneys did not form properly and he had them both removed at just 15 months old.
He spent the first three and a half years of his life undergoing dialysis treatment to clean his blood, a job normally done by the kidneys.
In the beginning, Matthew would spend 12 hours hooked up to a dialysis machine at home. Later he would travel to hospital in London three times a week to undergo four-hour sessions.
A kidney transplant in 2001 brought the family hope but a bad reaction to the anti-rejection drugs left Matthew with temporary blindness and partial paralysis. He spent the next five months in hospital and his parents decided to remove him from the donor waiting list.
"We felt his body had just been through too much," explained Christine, 46. "It was totally our decision. We just didn't want to put him through it."
But in 2003 a second match was found for Matthew and he underwent another transplant at Evelina Children's Hospital in London. This time it was a success.
Not long after the operation, the hospital contacted the Snazells with some unexpected news. The donor's mum had requested to meet them.
It is unusual for the recipients of organ donations to learn who their new body part comes from let alone make contact with their grieving relatives, but the Snazell's were touched by the request.
"It's difficult that our happiness had to come out of someone else's sadness and this is our way of saying thank you," said Christine.
Matthew's dad John agrees: "We can't express our gratitude. The difference the transplant has made is huge. Now we have got our freedom. It's allowed us to be a family."
Since the transplant Matthew's brother Robert, 12, has been able to join a theatre group and take up the cello and the Snazell's have enjoyed their first family holiday in almost a decade.
But Christine is quick to brush aside any sympathy.
"I don't want people to think we are a charity case," she said. "We have always just got on with it. Matty is Matty and he always has been, he's just had problems with his kidneys.
"He's always accepted it because it was all he ever knew. So many other people go through so much worse than we have.
"I just want people to see he is a happy little boy and now he has had the transplant we have so much more freedom as a family. He didn't have a social life before and now he can do what he likes."
The Snazell's know the transplant is not a miracle cure.
"It's not all over," said John, 49. "Things can go wrong at anytime. Some people's fail after three or four months but it could happen in ten or 15 years. If we've very lucky, Matthew will have his for 20 years."
In the meantime Mattthew is putting all his energy into preparing for the UK Transplant Games in Sheffield this August.
"I'm doing long jump, table tennis, 50m and obstacle course and ball throwing," he said proudly. "But the best bit is the tug-of-war at the end."
Christine and John are very proud of their son for coming so far.
"This will be the fifth time Matthew's taken part in the Games. They always have such a great atmosphere and it's lovely to catch up with the other children we met in the hospital and see how they are getting on," said Christine.
"Matthew enjoys it and it's the only way people who have had a transplant can play competitive sport because of all the drugs they have to take. We also get involved as another way to support Evelina Hospital and thank the staff for all they have done.
"I wanted Matthew to have his transplant before he started school and I feel I got my wish. It's horrible that we have the good side of somebody else's misfortune - that tragedy had to strike one family so we could have this. We do feel blessed."
It will cost a group of volunteers from Evelina Children's Hospital between £50,000 and £60,000 to take Matthew and his team The Evelina VIPS to The UK Transplant Games.
If you would like to help, visit justgiving.com/evelinavips-transplantgamesteam11:29am Monday 4th August 2008
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